Dating was hard enough in high school when the only way to communicate was with passed notes, chaperoned dates and light texting. Now as we enter our 20s and 30s add to the mix various dating apps, friends with benefits, “talking” stages, social media, peter pan syndrome, ghosting…the list could go on. And the more we try to look for it, the more “it’s complicated” it becomes. Now we are aware that there is no set “right” or “wrong” way to dating, but there are certainly no BS guidelines that if followed has the potential to lead to a healthier and happier dating life. Before you lose faith that your one is out there, we have brought in content creator and relationship mentor, Kornelija Slunjski a.k.a Koko, to share her high standards approach to dating today. 

DATING ETIQUETTE 101: KORNELIJA’S DOs AND DON’Ts OF DATING:

DO:

Know your worth.

“I think self awareness is so important. If you know what your strengths are, you’ll focus on them and that will bring you confidence. Also, surround yourself with a strong group of friends who make you a better person, and not just tell you what (they think) you want to hear.”

Practice baseball rules. Three strikes (or two) and you’re out.

“If you are involved with someone and you see they aren’t good for you, don’t force it. Break up with them, so the new person who’s meant for you can find it’s way.”

Ask yourself.

“How does this relationship make you feel? Do you feel that your life is enriched with them in it, or are they exciting, but a constant headache? Do you feel like your relationship is in a fight or flight mode? That’s not what I want in life, and I don’t know why anyone would. You need someone that makes you feel safe, like you have a home no matter where you go.” 

Trust your gut. 

“You always know when something isn't what it’s pretending to be, and you’re entertaining it only because it’s right in front of you. If you put a blind eye on red flags, trust me when I say, those exact red flags are going to be the reason you break up later on. People can only change if they want to, not because you ask for it, or started controlling the narrative.”

Recognize GREEN flags.

A few telltale signs that this special someone might be a keeper: “When your partner remembers small details about you, like your favorite drink, or your family member’s names and their stories. When you feel like you can count on him in those situations when you need someone reliable. When you feel like you can be yourself, no judgment. Where you can be vulnerable, understood and supported.”

DON’T:

Go dutch. 

“Women splitting the check on a first date. You do not owe him anything when he picks up the check. I’m going to give you two of my favorite quotes. ‘If a man asks you out, and he’s not willing to buy you a plate of food, how can you possibly think that this guy can take care of a family.’ — Steve Harvey. 

And if they start with ‘equality’ speeches, ‘when we talk about equality and opportunity, we talk about cerebral opportunity. We are not saying we want to be able to be like a 200-pound man and beat the shit out of somebody else. We are not saying that.’ — Priyanka Chopra.  He should want to win you over and impress you. It’s in men’s nature.”

See those third date wedding bells.

“Starting to think about your wedding after a second date. I feel like a lot of women my age (30) are so into finding that special someone, that they are settling for something just because they feel their ‘clock is ticking.’ Fast forward, you get married and five years in you realize you’re just not a good match. Don’t ever feel like you’re pressured to do something just because everyone else is doing it.”

Social media traps.

“Today dating is more difficult than ever. I blame social media. So many people are always on the chase for bigger, hotter and new romances. Everyone started to think there might be someone better since they have access to thousands of potential new partners, right at their fingertips. Thinking there’s always someone more attractive, smarter or more successful. It is extremely hard, for men and women. I feel like the younger generations today should be careful with the use of social media, it must be extremely tough on them. With sneaky snapchats and ‘talking stages.’”

Lose yourself.

“I left the comfort of my home in Croatia at 22 because I wanted to live life my own way. After I turned 30, I feel like there was honestly some kind of switch in myself that just made me content in who I am. I really don’t care anymore if someone doesn’t like me or thinks bad about me. I live my life for myself, and it’s a wonderful place to be. I wish everyone has that.”

Now it’s time to take what you’ve learned and don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and feel open to catching feelings. Dating may have its ups and downs, but your right one is out there. “Everything you want in life is real, don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.” — Kornelija Slunjski. But if like us you need some guidance here and there, follow Kornelija on socials (@kokobeaute) and tune in to Kornelija’s IG story series every Tuesday & Friday called “What Would Koko Do” where she answers a ton of burning dating questions and much more. And in preparation for your next date, wether that be quality you time or a romantic outing, you can take her gold standards approach with you in the form of her limited edition collection with Simplicité Jewelry called “The Boujee Collection.”