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The Benefits of Keeping Score in a Relationship

Photographer: Garrett

It’s date night, or shall we call it game night. And if you are anything like us, a little head to head competition can get pretty heated. Best two out of three can turn into best out of ten and then end with “what’s the tie breaker?” Getting a little too competitive is not fun for anyone, but can a little friendly competition be healthy for a relationship? To guide us with some sportsmanlike insight, we have brought in model and golf personality, Katie Kearney, to share the benefits of keeping score in a relationship, as well as her top date night ideas to positively feed our competitive side. 

Let the games begin.

A golf enthusiast meets a pro race car driver, Cooper MacNeil, and it is a match made in sports heaven. “Cooper and I are both very competitive (maybe me a bit more so), we love to play backgammon and chess or bet the occasional dinner wager on the course which makes it fun. I think having healthy competition keeps you on your toes. Healthy competition can be great for adding spice to a relationship, however, unhealthy competition can be the death of it. The difference between the two is what you're competing about and how far you take it.”

Going into overtime.

“A big TO do is not let it carry over. Once the match is over, move on, which we are both good at. NOT-to-do is get overly competitive and angry. When you start to put them down if they lose or make them feel less then it becomes a problem. If there’s anything he’s learned about me, it is that I’m Irish and I don’t like losing. Neither of us are ever sore losers, we are both pretty good at compartmentalizing and moving on. There will always be another match. Though I will say, Cooper has only played golf 10 times in his life. The first time Cooper and I played golf together, he beat me at the Tiger Woods par 3 course in Pebble Beach. He’s a natural athlete and my favorite golf partner. That being said, it was pretty humiliating and I will never live it down. I think he is framing that score card.”

Your number one fan, win or lose.

“Adding a game night to any relationship offers the opportunity to spend time and focus on one another rather than just sitting in front of the tv. I think it is important to remember how meaningless winning really is at the end of the day. What IS important is that you get to spend time with the person you love. Also supporting each other in their own respective competition is important whether it is me going to his races or him attending my golf competitions — we always have each others back. Try to focus on that and just have fun.”

KATIE KEARNEY’S TOP 3 DATE NIGHT IDEAS:

Dinner and game night.

“One of our favorite date nights is to light candles, open a nice bottle of wine, have a cheeseboard, cook dinner together, and play backgammon or chess all night. We keep score of every match. If you’re not a professional chef, I use a company called Blue Apron so we can learn new recipes together that are delivered to our door every week.”

Top Golf. 

“Another favorite is Top Golf, we usually have lunch dates here. We get margaritas and boneless wings, and play Top Score for hours. Sometimes we will make up our own games too. It’s a great environment that even people who don’t play golf can enjoy.”

Bowling.

Cooper and I are both subpar at bowling to say the least (Cooper will probably argue this) so it is an even playing field. But we love it none the less.”

So on your mark, get set, GO and keep score your next game night, “just remember, life is short, enjoy everyday with the ones you love. Win or lose, it’s still a win.”

@katiekearney