The Benefits of a Breakup and Anastasia Korol’s SECRET to Moving On
Combatting those breakup blue’s can be hard enough and knowing where to begin when you find yourself back alone, heartbroken or even looking for answers, can be even harder. But there is one thing that is sure, even if it does not feel that way just yet, backsliding and going back to the familiar is almost never the answer. So what is? Here’s a hint… you invest in something even better, YOU!
We have brought back content creator and self-love guru, Anastasia Korol, to dish her mood boosting practices to surviving a break up, letting go, and finding YOURSELF again. Breakups are never easy and there is unfortunately no magic cure to moving on, but we are here to bring you some daily habits that will make it easier to say, “thank you, next.”
I’m booked, baby.
“One huge thing was having something on my calendar to look forward to a month or two ahead. For example, about a month after my breakup I had New York Fashion Week in my plans, which was something I could look forward to and excited me for the future. Taking trips like these or having something fun to go to where I could meet new people, make new friends, network, etc. really helped build my confidence and make me feel good. Then I realized how much better I felt putting effort into myself rather than someone who wouldn’t think twice about downplaying the amazing woman I am. I actually still keep this practice, where I have a trip planned a month or two ahead that allows me to look forward to something because it genuinely does grow you as a person and allow you to make new friendships, connections and experiences. It can be anything from a smaller trip with your friend a state over to booking a flight to Hawaii. Life is short — and I spent way too many years being stuck in a relationship that didn’t allow me to flourish the way I was intended to. So now, I am YES woman.”
Namaste.
“Yoga is something I started incorporating more into my routine everyday. Now it’s like second nature. I wake up, do a stretch, and begin my practice. During this practice, I imagine letting go of anything that doesn’t serve me anymore and allow myself to bring in new opportunities. Meditation helps as well, and really practicing being in the moment. I recently joined a book club also (I was never much of a reader, haha), but I love that as well. Even on days where I don’t really feel like it, I do one of these things. Because in the long term it helps with my overall well-being.”
F**k closure.
“Honestly, I used to be a huge believer in closure. Until I became confident in myself and started understanding universal energy exchange. Meaning: you don’t owe anybody anything. The universe acts off of energy, so when you act like you owe someone an explanation especially after how they treated you, the universe will continue to give you the same experience. Now, I don’t think closure is necessary at all. The only reason I was seeking closure before was because I thought it was the ‘right’ thing to do so I wouldn’t have bad karma, or maybe because I needed to end things on a ‘good note’ with my ex. Then I said, ‘fuck that!’ We only have one life. Why would we spend it worrying about what other people think and what’s the best way I can come off looking like the bigger person? Especially when this person continuously hurt you. It’s funny because, anytime in the past that I have sought out closure, I ended up going back to my exes. It may even be you subconsciously looking for a reason to text your ex. This first time where I didn’t seek it, is when I became my best self and felt way less of a need to contact them. Obviously, is takes months, sometimes years to get to this place. But even if you go and get your closure, it doesn’t magically just make you stop thinking about them.”
FR-AMILY.
“Lastly, but definitely not least, is turning to my friends and family, as well as, allowing room for new friendships. Oftentimes when we are in a long term relationship, or at least based on my experience and the women I have talked to, we tend to become more isolated from friends and family. Being single has allowed me to understand that sustaining friendships is just as important as when you are in a relationship yourself. It fills up your calendar, gives you more things to do, someone to FaceTime, and all of the sudden your life is more fun than it was with your ex who acted like they knew which friends were better for you and which weren’t.”
“Don’t be so scared and don’t focus so much on your present feelings. Oftentimes I would get caught up in my present feelings and overthink, and the overthinking made things worse when really I was just supposed to let myself feel those feelings and let them pass. Not every feeling has a purpose. When you leave someone you’ve been laying in bed next to over the course of four years, your body and mind are going to have withdrawals and it won’t feel great, it will feel like the worst thing you’ve ever felt in your entire life. As someone who has struggled with anxiety and mental health, it got a lot worse during this time.”
ANASTASIA KOROL’S DAILY HABITS TO INVESTING IN YOU:
It’s not how, it’s why.
“Remember the why. In moments of doubt reassure yourself you made the decision for a reason. Oftentimes I doubted my decision making because my ex made me less confident in myself. I had to continue to be confident in my choices.”
The results are in.
“Look at the results. If after a few months you already see some (if any) improvement in your life — take it as a sign that he wasn’t the one for you. For example, after I went to fashion week, the time I invested in networking there instead of keeping up with my boyfriend, I experienced long term benefits to my career and I just went with it. This helped boost my confidence and solidify that I was making the right decision for my future — keep in mind the having something to look forward to on your calendar.”
Equal parts this and that.
“Cultivate a routine for yourself that keeps a healthy work-life balance, as well as maintaining a healthy social life. I sort of already had my workout and work routine, but what really helped me get over my ex was sustaining my social life. I began to network, reach out to old friends I hadn’t talked to in a while, while also making new friends as well. Remember, this is YOUR life and YOUR happiness — you get to decide what that looks like. I didn’t have nearly as much fun as I’m having now investing in my social life than I did putting all of my time into my ex.”
Don’t just be busy, be productive.
“Show up for your work, everyday (or Monday - Friday). The consistency in your work is more important than the perfection of your work. Obviously, you still want to make your work quality, but I created my own schedule for my business that holds me accountable everyday.”
A little party never killed nobody.
“Show up for your social life, everyday. I was really making this a priority. Making every big social event (especially in my career), joining book clubs, traveling, going out with friends. As Emma Chamberlain once said, paraphrasing here: ‘We don’t go out of our comfort zones to be comfortable. The whole point of coming out of your comfort zone is to understand your boundaries better so that you get to know yourself and what your limits are.’ Keep this in mind and watch your life change.”
No one will love you, like you.
“Show up for your self-care everyday. Whether it's yoga, a workout, a walk around the neighborhood, reading, etc. You want to make sure you’re keeping your brain busy and healthy.”
“Right now I’m really content with the way things are going in my career, the friendships I have made, and being closer to my family. I also recently started going on dates which has been really fun because I never really had that dating phase being in long term relationships all my life. Although I enjoy travel, I take so much pleasure in my work from home routine and content schedule. I thought I wanted to move back to LA and get my own apartment, but decided I would rather save for my own property later down the road.”